Great expectations that aren't really so great. This is not a book review.

[Jonny]

So I was talking with this girl today when the conversation started getting a little flirty. I was constantly thinking about what I could say back to the girl to sound interested and flirty, but not come on too strong. I sent her something via text that, as I sent it, I thought did a good job of covering those bases. However, as I looked at it again, I decided I could have done better. This is when I realized that girls don't care how guys say things, as long as we mean what we say, but guys expect everything we say to be Shakespeare quality.


For instance

What I said:
Well I'm inclined to agree with ya.

What I wish I said:
Thou doth hath an idea worthy of a greek philosopher. Hath thou been struck by the glistening light of a muse?

If I was a girl, I'd be falling all over myself if a guy came up to me and spit romance like that! So, I hath decided for the future, I will have some responses ready for typical flirting/dating situations.

To ask a girl out:
O fairest maiden, may I esquire you about this beautiful city on this Friday night?

To tell a girl she has pretty eyes:
Thou doth hath the sparkling eyes of a roman goddess, and thy doth fill my heart with hope and joy.

To ask a girl to dinner and a movie:
O beautiful girl with hair so smooth, wilt thou accompany me to a grand feast and perhaps afterward we sha'll journey to a moving picture.

Something to say before you go in for a kiss:
Thou lips call to mine as a the sirens called for Jason, but I cannot resist.

Inviting her in for coffee:
O stunning lady, doth thou hath the time to come in for a warm cup of nourishment?

I'll call you soon:
Maiden, I shall be in contact with you shortly, for I cannot bare too many moments.

How can she resist when you speak so eloquently? Lonely nerdfighters, go find a beautiful girl and work this magic!

[Wonder Woman 2.0]

I think this sounds better in theory than in practice. Like...I would respond to this better if it was written to me. If a guy were to say this to me, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face, it would sound too contrived.

[CaptainElaine(Strawbee)Harkness]

I love bantering back and forth with guys like this. But few know how to do so properly

[Groovy Jones]

Would a girl find it in her heart to explain the difference between romance and talking funny in a way that you don't hear all the time? Granted, most anything is better than monosyllabic grunts and apostrophised sentences (hey, 'sup?) but I'm not making the connection to swoon yet.

Is it just the thing where a guy goes to a little extra effort just for you and that makes you feel tingly?

[Samithemonster]

I once was flriting via text with a guy who talked kinda like that.

like when he was complmenting me it was AWESOME AND ADORABLE!
NOT CUTE when he would like just when we were talking about like Facebook or some regualr conversation he would randomly break out into Does tho blha blha blah. NOT CUTE