I am looking for a girl.
I don't quite know her name yet, or exactly what she looks like. But I know what she'll be like.
She'll be my very best friend in the whole world, and more. We'll talk about the best and worst parts of life. The stunningly beautiful and the unforgettably disturbing; the wonderful and the disgusting. She'll let me talk about anything, and I the same for her. When I need help or comfort, she'll be there for me to lean on. When her rage and sorrow need to explode, I'll be there to hold her and pick up the pieces. If one of us can't sleep, we'll chat into the night until our eyelids become too heavy and we drift into dreams.
We'll take walks in the forest, amongst the bugs and heat. We'll splash in the puddles on a rainy day, laughing and soaked to the bone. We'll have a picnic on a cold winter day, drinking hot chocolate in the frozen, white drifts. She'll swim with me, to this little island I know, and she'll grin at the birds flying around its trees in the orange glow of twilight while we discuss anything and everything until the stars reflect on the glassy water.
Some days, we'll just be lazy together. I'll put in a movie while she warms up a pizza. Maybe we'll play video games; fighting aliens in Halo, or playing Pokemon together; maybe we could make our own world in Minecraft. We could take turns playing each other little doodles or melodies on an instrument, or we could get some paper and draw for a while. We'll bake cookies or brownies together, and have flour fights in the kitchen. If it rains we could take a nap and fall asleep to the patter of rain; if it's sunny we could lounge around outside with the cats and soak up the sun's rays.
Her singing would be like an angel. We would listen to each other sing sometimes, and now and then we'd sing together. We'd listen to music, even though our tastes are a little different sometimes. I would poke fun at and just enjoy the modern pop she likes, and she'll tolerate the hauntingly dissonant symphonic black metal I like. I'll let her read my writing, and listen to her feedback on it. She'll allow me to read her poems or stories and take what I have to say into consideration for revisions. I know she will use proper grammar and she'll always have the most beautiful or adorable way of putting together a sentence.
She would be beautiful. Maybe she won't be a model, but I know that to me she'll be the most beautiful girl in the world. She'll accept me for who I am, with my long hair, and she won't care whether I shave my face or not. She'll encourage me to be me. But I'll want to always look my best, for her. I'll want to get in better shape so I don't feel so bad standing next to her. She won't get jealous if I talk to other girls, because she'll know that I'd never dream of being unfaithful to her; likewise, I'll do my very best not to get jealous if she talks with other guys. And this girl will most certainly be tough without being harsh. She won't care if we're apart for a while; she'll know that distance makes the heart grow stronger.
When she's happy, her smile will be the best part of my day. When she's sad, my heart will drop at her tears. When she's angry, I'll do my best to calm her down, and I'll try to love her more.
We'll lie out under the night sky and gaze at the stars for hours.
She's the person I love and trust more than anyone in the world.
I just haven't found her yet.