I sit, stand, pace: I know I am walking but in reality I am going nowhere. No matter how hard I push, how far one foot goes in front of the other, I will never go anywhere. In the end the thing with pacing is it takes you one way and then back again, it's a constant retracing of steps, always familiar ground. You can not travel as you pace.
I lie down, stare at the stars, think: Indeed I am sifting through thoughts, but these thoughts are not being organised, or concidered or even thought about. They simply drift through my mind and move on, tucked away in a corner for future sorting. You can not think when you watch the stars, they just distract you, make tears cloud your vision, as you revel in the beauty they hold.
I close my eyes, feel my heart fly to the stars, breathe my sigh of hope and release. Then I feel your hand on mine, that is when it all changes. One touch, a shiver straight through my body. Wrapping my body into your arms, my safehaven. This is where I long to be. If the stars faded away, If the sun collapsed, Id be happy watching if I was in your arms. With you I can stop pacing, I smile I laugh. My memories don't matter, only the here and now. Me and you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lMcTvMqa3M