Moving On: Open Heart Surgery

[Jeff D.]

I've been single now for about two months, before now I had been in a relationship for six years. It was a mostly good relationship, we had a few rough patches but generally speaking it was very positive.

I found out on the fifth of November (remember, remember) that she is dating someone else.

Her whole reasoning for the break up was so that she could go off and see the world and not be tied down. That changed to seeing other people when she realized she didn't want to leave the state.

Now I've blocked her from talking to me online, and have deleted her number from my phone.

For anyone in a relationship right now: value and cherish it. People and their feelings can change over night, you can never hold onto anything too tightly or you're likely to lose it. Relationships are wonderful when you have them, and only seem better after they're over.

Am I moving on without her? Yes, and no. I still love her, I still care about her, but now I'm pretty pissed off at her. Here's a short poem about my current situation:

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"Tough Situation"

I'm alone in these ashes, this debris.
I'm alone, now I'm walking away from these remains.

She burned down the house to walk out the door.
She burned down the bridge as she crossed that river.

I'll never stop loving her, but I can't stand her.
I'll never stop loving.

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I don't have much else to say. I've been making new friends, going to parties, meeting people, writing, reading, watching movies I've never seen.

All of this has only made me realize how much I truly love that selfish girl I once was with. You can't help who you love sometimes. But it's always important to keep going forward, so if anyone else is having a hard time with a break up, just realize that you're still alive and that your life is and always will be your own. Be happy with your own decisions and be nice to others. That's all that you can really do.

- Jeff