I found the website Nerdfighter secrets through Kristina talking about the picture calling her an asshole, and I looked through a couple pages and instantly disliked it, feeling like it was just people complaining who didn't really understand Nerdfighteria. But then I kept going back to look at pictures people have referenced, and it's now half five int he morning and I can't stop reading them. I feel like loads of the secrets are what I feel too, and what Nerdfighters must feel without really thinking about how they do.
Even though I am what most people think nerdfighters should be, I feel like a bad nerdfigther sometimes. I love Star Trek and Star Wars and always have, I have been watching Dr Who since the reboot a few years ago and love 9, 10 nd 11 equaly for different reaons. I own an origional life size Darlek made by the same people who made them for the TV show. I have always been smart and rejected by people because of that in school, been outcast and unable to accept who I was before Nerdfighteria. I drove five hours on no sleep to meet John Green and tell him how Nerdfighteria changed my life.
But I feel like I don't belong because I only found it last year. That I want to know the 'famous' Nerdfighters personally so much, because I just feel like I would get a long so well with them, but they're like the popular people in school that they're put in a pedestal and suddenly unreachable. I hate how they're all so pretty when even though I no longer hate my body, I know I'm not a pretty person. I hate how I hated Harry Potter until last year, and how I never wanted the Hogwarts acceptance letter when I was eleven because I want it so much now I'm, 16.
And I feel bad about it, but I know I'm still a Nerdfighter, that Nerdfighteria made me truly happy for the first time since I was eight years old, that Nerdfighters are the most accepting and wonderful people, that John and Hank changed my life by starting this community. And all the Nerdfighters out there who don't feel like real Nerdfighters becase you don't like the Ning, or you drink, or are popular, or not smart or don't like dr who or John's books or are too shy to talk to anyone online. You're not alone, and that's what Nerdfighter Secrets does, it gives Nerdfighters a place to vent anonymously, and I understand that now, and love it for what it is.
And if you're one of those Nerdfighters without Nerdfighter friends, who's too shy to talk to anyone or feel like you're not a true Nerdfighter, you are. I'd love to be friends with you, no matter who or where you are, no matter how smart you are or what you look like, because even though I have a few IRL Nerdfighter friends, I honestly believe that I will never have enough, because each Nerdfighter is their own brand of awesome, and I'd you can never have too much awesome in your life.
I can't help but feel like people are failing to imagine Nerdfighteria completely though, like Q with Margo. We put our community on this pedestal, and when people are judgmental here, or ignorant or stupid we realize we aren't perfect as a community and it hurts, but we have to work past that. We have to remember why we all became Nerdfighters in the first place. We did it because we are made of Awesome, and want to decrease World Suck.
And if any of you are like me, too nervous to put yourself out there online, to talk to any Nerdfighters but want Nerdfighter friends, you can talk to me. I can honestly say there is nothing I would want more than to hear from just one shy Nerdfighter because of this, to make friends with them, and maybe just make them feel more accepted in our wonderful community.
PS: A link to the website I'm talkign about in case you aren't familiar - http://nerdfightersecrets.com/