Just a short preamble this was inspired by a line from Bill Hicks that went we are one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. So here you go enjoy.
By Daniel Brennan
Adam was cruising along in his average family saloon when through an all too prevalent defect with the braking system he slammed into a typical oak and as is commonplace with this type of collision his brain ricocheted around his skull and disintegrated like it had been in the shockwave of an atomic bomb. In that moment his soul dropped out of him and the universe taking with it everything that made him a loving father a horrible spouse a diehard spurs supporter and a stoic yet pleasant human being, by and large. Everything that made him so much more than a flesh puppet.
The problem with dropping out of universe is where do you go what is beyond everything we know and think we understand partially. What Adam perceived was whiteness so vast and eternal and alien to him. He was an ant here a speck of dust in the eye of an ant. He did not know if he was falling or floating or standing still he just was in a place there was no land mark or point of reference to know. He knew now why hamsters have heart attacks when they are taken out of their cages. If this was the afterlife he would have to find a way to get out as soon as possible. Though time was different here, nothing happened. He had thoughts but how do you measure time by thoughts. He had already pondered back over his life to see if he had done anything to deserve this. He had once hit one of his kids. His last words with his dad were in anger. He had argued with his wife constantly about everything but he loved her and never really hated anyone when he thought about it. He did his best with his kids he made it up as he went along of course but didn’t everyone. He was good to his mother but they said that about Hitler. No he did not deserve this, eons alone with his thoughts to torment him. He hated himself a little and familiarity breeds contempt so if this was forever he was attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis or screwed. Adam was impressed he’d figured that out but how long had it taken?
It was that point he felt it. You know when you’re being watched alive or dead. You get a feeling a niggling and you spin to find the eyes watching you. How often is it a giant white bearded man in sandals and toga with electric blue eyes and a voice like a crack of thunder? Well this time at least it was just that. He didn’t feel like he had been slapped in the face he felt like he had been hit the face with a lump hammer and his jaw and had broken off and dropped to the floor. He managed to say
“Who are you?” with about as many stammers as Colin Ferth.
“I am what you imagine god to look like” came the reply.
He seemed to physically shrink. “More specifically , What are you then?”
“Infinitely more complicated then you can understand.... right now.”
“So what happens now?” Adam asked slowly.
“You’re going back to earth to Australia around 30,000 years before you were born last time.”
At that point Adams brain broke. The big man decided to elaborate.
“Time isn’t linear you see in fact it doesn’t really exist but try telling that to a watch maker.”
The Zeus like figure looked at Adam.
“That was a joke meant to put you at ease.”
Adams mind was the wine glass the table cloth was pulled out from under and now it just fell off the table and smashed. After a long while Adam managed to say bewildered
“So I could have met myself?”
“Everyday all the time. You see you have been or will be everyone that will be or ever was.
“So I was Hitler?”
“ And the millions he killed.”
“ I was Buddha and Chairman Mau.”
“ Every single great and horrible human being to have walked the earth.”
“But what’s the point!” Adam shouted his mind rebounding from its bending.
“To be better” comes the reply “to evolve and be better. When you reach your pinnacle then you will become like me. The Universe is an Egg. It has a tendency towards complexity and when it reaches ultimate complexity the egg cracks and you are born.
“Will I remember any of this?”
“This is why babies cry for nothing.”