What a girl wants...a rant.

[Rachel]

 I hear guys whine all the time.." But why do girls go for the asshole,  rather than a good guy like me!?!?"  I heard this through out the time I was dating, and even still from my single guy friends.  Call me crazy, maybe it's not everyone else maybe its you. It's so much easier to be a victim in life than an antagonist.  I hope to trouble-shoot some things, and maybe help you realize what you might be doing wrong.

   First, look at your grooming habits.  Girls rarely go for slobs. The only girls who like slobs are those crazy ones with self-esteem issues.  Actually, there was a guy I really liked, but he smelled bad and I couldn't stand to be around him. Smelling like a garbage can and looking like you slept in one tells everyone " I don't care about myself".  If you don't care about yourself, how can you care about your new girlfriend?  So, go look in a mirror right now and see yourself with new eyes. 

   Second, do you have a car?  I know it seems shallow and stupid, but most girls don't want to drive. Girls want to be driven. A car is the first sign of independence your new girlfriend sees.  If you're young(like highschool or college) you don't need a nice car, just four wheels and an engine.  If you're older(say mid thirties and on) a nice car says "I have a job that pays well".  Girls like money. Which leads to number 3...

  Thirdly, do you have a job?  I understand our country is in hard times right now, but there is work out there for people who really want it.   Look around for office jobs, or go to college and get an associates in nursing or engineering.  Even a small degree will be better than none at all. (You get bonus points too for having "graduated" college)

  ~TANGIENT ALERT~ Having a job isn't enough, you need to be able to support yourself and your girlfriend.  Girls are like expensive pets.  We need to be groomed, clothed, fed, and don't forget movies on Friday night.   This costs money and girls like it when the guy pays. There are those exceptions where she will want to pay (either she's a feminist, its your birthday/special occasion) Generally speaking though,  if you want to "Get the girl" be a gentleman and pick up the tab, especially on the first date. If she argues, insist.~endtangient~

  The big thing, a house.  It doesn't have to be a house, it can just be a place of your own.  Not the apartment over your mother's garage or your friend's couch.  "Yours" as in you pay rent, or own it.  If you're 16 its less important, but the older you get, the worse it looks if you're a hobo.

   What are K.I.T? They are more of a "who" than a "what"....  They are those blessed little bundles left over from girlfriends past.  Kids. In. Tow.   Be up front with your new girlfriend, and don't bad talk their mother.  Honesty is always the best policy, create events where you all spend time together.  If she's "mommy material" then she wont mind "jr" one bit.

Which brings me me to the final troubleshooting tip, which is your attitude.  Don't be a corny scene out of some cheep smutt novel, but don't be the polar opposite either.  Everyone is attracted to confidence.  This is the most crucial thing.   Who would you hang with? A lonely man drinking at a bar or the man dancing on tables and having fun?  The "assholes" usually have this over the "good guys" in a big way which is why they usually get the girl even if the "good guy" is clean cut with a good job and what not.  Another part of attitude is good boundaries.  You have to be able to say "no" and not just say "I don't care."   Standing up for yourself is a big thing for a girl to see, even if you get your butt kicked.

Now, how do you act with confidence? "You have no confidence" says you? "Well act like it" says I!  Stand up straight, smile, and laugh even when you don't feel like laughing.  Don't drink any of that fake confidence that Jack and Jose offer.  It comes at the price of your judgement.  When someone introduces themselves use a firm handshake. Make eye contact when you talk.  Sometimes you've just got to "fake it to make it" in this life.  Don't be fake, but sit, walk, and talk like you have big confidence.  Women are attracted to that behavior. 

Don't compromise major personality traits.  Are you a nerd? Do you have a fetish for larp?  Do you enjoy math or science to the point that your favorite weekend activity is to spend it in a lab?  These are things about you that people should love.  If a girl asks you to trade one of your core beliefs for one night of ecstasy....tell her yes and then don't call her....just kidding. Anyone who would try to change your core personality against your will isn't worth your time at all. 

Now,  notice I said nothing about "penis size" or "act like an asshole".   That's because you don't want the shallow bitches that actually go for those things.  The biggest thing is to not let failure in love get you down.  That's a part of the fun.  Do you quit playing football/amtgard/sca/soccer/whatever because you get hurt? no...  Love is the same thing, so have fun!

[Julia]

So you where being sarcastic. I was seriously pondering about it but wasn't quite sure. *sigh* Well, now I feel like an idiot...

[Rachel]

julia... I think you've missed the point.

[Julia]

Girls go only for guys with money and cars? How is that a condition for love?

There is a job out there for everyone who really wants it? There are currently 8,2 % of unemployed people in America. This year a lot of people with a special education for a profession lost their job because of serious cut backs in employment (like for example construction workers or accounters). I don't see how they where not trying hard enough.

I don't want to be EVER seen as an expensive pet. NEVER EVER. I can not express how much I disagree with that paragraph.

A girl needs to be a feminist for bringing home a little gift for her boyfriend for no reason at all? Why would she need a special occasion for making him happy?

 

I agree though with the parts about body hygiene and that one really shouldn’t change their personality for anybody. I also openly admit that financial stability is a big issue in a relationship (except when you’re a teen). What I am convinced though is that this financial stability should not be provided by one person alone. Both should contribute to it. I also appreciate that you are trying to give a heads up to the guys who feel disappointed in love.

In my opinion one should stay away from generalization. It depends on the individual really. That’s what makes love so complicated.