Sometimes I don't feel like a nerdfighter. I wish that wasn't the case, but its true.
I've only been a nerdfighter for a few months, and owning up to the fact that I'm a nerd for less than a year. Its not that I denied it before, at leas intentionally, I just never consciously put a label to what I am. But I've always been one. Since I've only been part of this amazing community for less than 6 months I still don't know everything--all the inside jokes, all the references--and I don't really get to talk about being a nerdfighter with my friends since none of my friends are nerdfighters. The girl who introduced me to Hank and John I am no longer friends with, and while I have a few online friends who are its not the same as face-to-face.
This has a point, I promise. Its not just me being whiny. :)
But the other day I had a tiny epiphany. Yeah, if you don't know all the inside jokes and everything you do feel a bit left out, but that's not what being a nerdfigher is about. Its a mentality, not a checklist. You have to want to decrease worldsuck, to share awesome things with awesome people. And so that's what I'm trying to remember now. As an introvert I've never needed a huge group of people around me to make me happy, so why should this be any different? Sure, I really want to meet more nerdfighters and to go on a tour and meet Hank and John, but Nerdfighteria is as much an individual thing as it is the big group.