Madeleine was conceived over 6000 years ago via the thoughts of Poseidon and delivered to her adoptive family (the Moujaes family) on the waves of the Pacific ocean. She was raised well by her family until she turned 21, whereupon she left on a quest to master the Super Secret, Sacred, and Hidden Jutsu of Humanity.
Her quest took her to the mountain tops of the Japanese archipelago, where (due to a series of events beyond her control) she led a blundering Emperor to his death. The story was that she and this nameless Emperor fell into a deep and passionate rivalry. One day, she challenged him to reach the summit of Mount Fuji before her. He agreed, and the two of them set off at a brisk pace. The only problem was that neither of the two realized that the man-hating goddess, Sengen, was made ruler of the mountain. Predictably, the Emperor died a horrible death while Madeleine herself was taken under the goddess's wing. This oversight earned Madeleine the somewhat ironic nickname, Luminous Maiden; moreover, she stayed atop the mountain with the goddess for several centuries in order to become more worthy of learning the Sacred Jutsu.
When it became obvious that Sengen could teach Madeleine no more, the young woman descended the mountain again and headed to Tibet. She had heard from the goddess that the monks were the keepers of the Scared Jutsu's scroll. Upon arriving to the lonely mountain residence of the Tibetan monks, Madeleine immediately sought out the abbot.
She found him the innermost cloister of the temple and was frightened. The abbot was a giant floating head with an extremely bad temper, you see; and when she tried asking him for the scroll, he only hurled insults at her in response. After three unsuccessful days, in which she DID successfully convince the Tibetan monks to abandon their materialistic ways, she finally noticed the truth: that the floating head was nothing more than an illusion created by a technologically advanced magician. She exposed the "abbot" for what he truly was, and he confessed that he did not possess the Jutsu. (This story would later come up in conversation with a certain L. Frank Baum, who would steal the concept and make a beloved children's series out of it, but I get ahead of myself).
Dismayed, Madeleine left Tibet for Israel. There she met an interesting guy named Jesus (who insisted on calling her Mary Magdalen), and spent many days with him getting pedicures at the best of Hebrew nail salons. Incidentally, to make these happenings more epic, Jesus would tell everyone that she had washed his feet and was anointed as a result.
After witnessing the death of her friend, Jesus, and deeming the mastery of the Jutsu impossible, Madeleine would then go into seclusion with the surviving Moujaes family--where she continues to stay even today. Madeleine now lives in Texas and is posing as a college student in order to find America's next life-altering philosopher.
Favorite Books, Movies, Music, and more
Far too many to list here.
What's your favorite thing to put on your head?
If you could do your happy dance with anyone who would it be with?